At the dawn of AxeMan’s Genesis, The Creator advised him; If you don’t have a myth, make one.
For AxeMan, a myth required an anthem, or at the very least, a mantra. When he heard Neil Young singing Fallen Angels, he listened to it over and over, line by line, on his iPod. “Is there anything he knows, that he ain’t said?” Anthem? Mantra? Does it matter? Does truth really matter? He’s been trying to answer this question, but finding his own truth (with a noisy alter ego in the background) has been no easy task. Why, just today, listening to the public radio analysis of the constitutionality of Obamacare, he heard a shocking sidebar. Apparently, there is a law called the Stolen Valor Act. The law stated that you can’t lie about being awarded medals or commendations during your military service. Made sense to AxeMan.Xavier Alvarez was a former local elected official in California who had been elected to the Three Valleys Municipal Water District in Pomona, CA. He’d said he received the Medal of Honor while serving in the U.S. Marines. The dummy told the story AFTER he’d been elected. And not only had he not been awarded the medal; he had never even served! The uniform was fake (or rented).
What could he have been thinking? AxeMan thought Alvarez deserved to get a whupping. But the Supremes didn’t agree. Lying might be immoral, but if you gain nothing from your bullshit, it’s not a crime. The Washington Times went apeshit. AxeMan thought he remembered something. He went to google to jolt his memory. Yes! This was the newspaper founded in 1982 by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon. AxeMan smiled to himself. Thanks to the Supremes, life had just gotten a whole lot easier.